She's been thinking about it all day. She locks the door. She lets herself go there. She hates herself for it.
I close the door behind me as I walk into my room. Walking towards the bed, I drop my backpack to the floor, and sit down.
I pause and smile.
I want it.
I really want it.
My legs tremble slightly as I sit there, and I can feel the wetness between my thighs.
I’ve been thinking about this all day…
The thought fills my mind like warm water.
The tension in my belly makes me sigh.
My skin is hot like I’m wrapped in a blanket.
I get up and head to the bathroom. Standing in front of the bathroom mirror, I look at myself and smile.
So looking forward to this.
I grab the toothbrush off the charger and rush back to my room.
Once there, I lock the door behind me.
I pull off the t-shirt, then drop my pants. The bra follows and I quickly tug my panties down. They’re soaked and sticky, clinging heavily with thick glistening strings stretching between them and my pussy.
The bed creaks as I climb in. I place the toothbrush beside me.
For later…
The blanket is cool against my bare skin as I slide beneath it.
My thighs part by themselves.
I exhale, slow and easy, feeling my whole body hum. My hand slides gently over my tummy.
Just soft strokes, fingers across my belly, down my inner thighs.
Other hand caresses my cheeks, slowly trailing down my neck to my chest, and back up to my neck.
My heart starts to beat faster and my breathing quickens. The pleasant warmth radiates through my whole body.
I spread my legs more and start circling my pussy. Just barely brushing the moist lips, almost like by accident. A sweet hum spreads through me, and I cup my breast gently, feeling the fullness of it in my hand.
“Hhhhaaa…” gently escapes my lips.
The circles around my pussy get smaller, gently passing over the lips, playing with the hairs, spreading the drops coating them.
The heat keeps building up.
I gasp sharply. My hips twitch.
I sink deeper into the blanket. Fingers part my pussy lips. Everything is soaked, my clit swollen and wet. I start circling it gently.
“Ohhh…” escapes me as the fingers pass over it.
My other hand grips my breast more firmly, pressing against the soft weight, thumb circling a tight, sensitive nipple.
“Ahhh, ohh…” I breathe, as my fingers stroke across delicate skin, spreading wetness between my legs with slow, practiced care.
It’s time.
I reach for the toothbrush, my other hand still lingering over my pussy.
I click it on.
A soft hum, a familiar buzz.
That sound, it always makes my stomach clench.
A little thrill, a little shame.
I bring it beneath the blanket, positioning it between my thighs.
The first contact makes me jolt.
I quickly pull back. Then slowly. Just the tip. Just the edge, barely grazing the clit.
The vibration travels through me like a pulse.
I adjust the blanket, close my eyes, letting the sound and rhythm carry me while the fantasy drifts in.
He walks in.
No knock. Just the door swinging open like it belongs to him.
“What are you doing?” he asks.
I don’t answer. I just pull the blanket away slowly.
I let him see me. I let him watch.
His face doesn’t change much. Just a curl at the corner of his mouth.
That look…
My hips twitch gently as I press the toothbrush a little harder. The buzz deepens against my clit, soft and precise.
My breath catches.
He walks toward me, slow and deliberate.
“Put that thing away.” he demands.
A shiver runs down my spine.
I don’t argue.
My hands, shaking, switch it off. I toss the toothbrush to the nightstand. It lands with a soft thud.
His eyes drop between my legs. I can feel his gaze drilling into me.
My back arches slightly. My free hand clenches the blanket.
A soft moan escapes my throat, small and breathy as the pressure from the vibrations builds.
Shame floods through me, but I’m excited too. Heat rises in my cheeks as he steps closer, his hand sliding between my legs.
His fingers slide into my wet cunt, and I gasp. Then, without warning, he leans down and licks me, his tongue teasing my soaked lips.
I moan softly, my back lifting off the bed, hips moving toward him, chasing the pleasure he is giving me.
He keeps going slow, like he’s tasting something only he’s allowed to have.
”Please fuck me…” I whisper.
The licking stops. He raises above me, quickly pulling down his pants. His cock is hard and ready.
He pushes into me in one smooth motion. No warning.
”Ahhh… haa, ah…” I sigh as he fills me.
His rhythm starts slow, then faster and faster, driving himself deeper into my gushing wetness. Each movement takes me higher, closer to the edge.
My body starts to shake under his pressing rhythm. I try to hold back, but it’s too late, pleasure explodes through me, wave after wave. I cry out, legs shaking, everything tight and warm.
As I recover, I turn over and straddle him.
I look down, breathless, my body still twitching from the release.
“Did you enjoy that?” I ask.
I’m so close now. The thought of him walking in, catching me like this.
Seeing me like this…
Touching me…
Taking me…
“Ah, ah, ahhh…” I pant as it almost pushes me over.
Don’t cum yet! Don’t cum yet! You’re not allowed to cum!
I tremble fighting it, gripping the blanket tight in one fist, my legs tense and open, trying to stay just at the edge.
Don’t cum yet. Don’t you dare!
I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to hold it off, but my throbbing pussy and swollen clit have other ideas.
A thought hits me, out of nowhere.
If he ever caught me, could I keep myself under control? What… what would I do?
With that, I can no longer hold back. My entire body tenses up, then twists as the orgasm hits me with full force.
For a moment, everything is perfect. I spasm with bliss, the orgasm crashing through me.
The release feels like nothing else in the world.
Then it’s over. With my body still twitching from the aftershocks, shame crashes over me, crushing my chest.
I lay there, still shaking. Panting, twitching.
My skin is hot, and my brain is buzzing with shame.
What kind of person thinks like this?
Why do I have such filth in my head? What kind of person fantasizes about their own brother?
Am I really this despicable?
I stay there, still trembling, the toothbrush still vibrating between my legs. My clit is oversensitive, the vibrations too strong, almost unbearable.
It’s uncomfortable, and I know I should stop, but I press it harder, forcing myself to keep going.
Hold it. Hold it. You have to do this again. You can do it.
I tense my body, holding my breath, pushing through the overstimulation. It’s not pleasure, but at the same time it is. And I need this.
Do it. Do it! Do it! DOOO IT!!
Finally, I exhale in a long, trembling breath, “Arghhh… ahhhhh…” as the weak orgasm rolls through me.
My muscles stop tensing, but the release is faint. It’s barely there.
It’s not the same. It’s dull. Hollow. I twitch a bit. That’s all.
I hate myself for letting it happen again. For being so weak.
Tears spill down my cheeks as my hand, still shaking, turns off the toothbrush. I lay it on the nightstand and force myself upright.
So sick…
Dirk would never understand this. Nobody would ever understand this. And if he ever finds out…
No… No, No!
What am I thinking?
No, no one can ever find out about this. Not Dirk. Not anyone. They’d think I’m disgusting. I have to stop this, I have to stop being this way.
Oh, why am I such a degenerate? Why can’t I just be normal?
Maybe you deserve this. For who you are. For what you are. For being such a slut!
That’s right. That’s all I am. A filthy whore…
Stop it, Kia. Just stop, please!
I pull on the pants and t-shirt, and head toward the bathroom. Passing the mirror, I catch my reflection and, oddly, a twisted smile forms as I see the misery written on my face. I wipe away the tears.
Later, I’ll meet Yuki for coffee. We’ll gossip about boys, talk about school, and laugh. And I’ll lie about what I’ve been up to. I’ll keep smiling, and she’ll never know.
It’s better this way.
She can never know…
This…
“Ufff…”
No point in worrying about it now.
Just focus. Keep yourself in check.
Keep safe.
Safe….
From you…
That’s all that matters.